Happy Labor Day. I’m not off toiling for The Teh Man today, so after I thanked the Wobblies and sang a rousing rendition of “Pie in the Sky” , I laced up my shoes and hit the road.
Yesterday my yearly mileage was at 993, so of course, I HAD to do seven today. My OCD would not have it any other way. I did seven uneventful miles in 56:55, and I’ve been inordinately pleased with myself ever since. I’ve run one thousand miles this year! And since today is the 250th day of the year, that means I’ve run an average of …um…yeah….er….I don’t exactly know. That’s real hard math, right there. Check back later.
Okay, some fancy schmany online calculator just informed me that 1,000 divided by 250 equals four. So I’ve run an average of four miles each and every day. Well, now I’m less than impressed. And I’m also embarrassed by my lack of proficiency in the field of mathematics. I’d like to think that school children of today will demonstrate stronger math skills than my own. But, that seems impossible, what with President Obama robbing them of their math class tomorrow to spread his socialist agenda. I’m thinking that guy just might be a Wobbly.
In other news, MY HAT IS BACK!!!! I’m referring, of course, to my best good running hat, the one I got when I ran the one and only 50K I’ve ever run. This is a magical hat, people, and I mourned and grieved when it turned up missing a few months back. Because not only does it fit perfectly, but it also contains some serious mojo. Everytime I put that hat on I feel like a bad ass. Very few runners ran that event, and many of those who did were from Canadia or from out of state. So when I wear it out and about it usually generates a comment or two. And because it says ” 50K/ 100K ” , some people make the assumption that it was the 100K that I ran. I do not disabuse them of this notion.
Yearly Mileage: 1,000!!!!
22 comments
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September 7, 2009 at 1:50 pm
gqh
Congrats on hitting the 1,000-mile mark so early in the year, Moose!
But more to the point – yeah, I have no idea why the Canucks insist on spelling “Labor” “Laboru”. I mean, WTF is up with that? (By which I mean, “What Teh Fouck”.)
Other things I don’t understand:
1. How you can know who the Wobblies were, but not know who Sean Hannity is. He has five times the ball-stank of all the Wobblies put together. (I got that figure from the Intertubes Ball-Stank Calculator.)
2. How a hat “turned up missing”. That is one paradoxical hat you have there and you will never disabuse me of that fact. But I am happy to hear that it has lost its state of unfoundedness and made its way back to you.
Lurve,
Glaven (Motto: “Nitpicking Intertubular Grammar for Nearly … O, Who Teh Fouck Cares?”)
September 8, 2009 at 5:54 pm
deloosemoose
Glaven: My blog didn’t eat your comment – it just waited for me to approve it because it didn’t recognize your “IKEELU” address. My blog is silly like that. And I’m all about Teh Wobblies, mister.
…By which I mean Teh Industrial Workers of the World, of course, and not just any ol’ wobbly. Some things are definitely NOT better in a wobbly condition. Like fudge. And other things.
September 7, 2009 at 2:57 pm
gqh
WTF, Moose?
I left a comment here an hour or two ago and … now it’s gone!
September 7, 2009 at 3:05 pm
gqh
It was exquisitely assholish, too, this inexplicably missing comment of mine, and my chances of successfully reconstructing it from memory are virtually nil because, to be bluntly honest, I wasn’t really paying attention to what I wrote since, while brilliant, the comment was also tedious and jejune and otiose.
But still, all’s I can say is it brilliantly wove into an intricate and brilliant tapestry all of my usual themes; viz., anal sex, Sean Hannity’s ball-stank (versus the ball-stank of all of the wobblies throughout history (Hannity’s is greater by far)), anal sex, Canadian kertwanging, anal sex, and it even questioned your use of the paradoxical phrase “turned up missing”, which, in its own way is kinda anal too … and also sexy.
But your fucking blog eated it.
I usually enjoy being eated.
But not this time.
September 7, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Madeline
Where’d you find the hat??
Oh, I did another (half) marathon that ended on the Virginia Beach boardwalk yesterday… I was slightly verklempt, remembering us and the leprechaun all those years ago. Bitter sweet.
September 8, 2009 at 5:58 pm
deloosemoose
Madeline: Mr. Moose found it amidst a pile of laundry on his dresser. At least it was clean laundry, so that’s a bonus. My housekeeping skills? Yeah, let’s juts say they haven’t improved any.
I, too, am verklempt. (At least NOW I am, after I went and looked up that crazy obscure Yiddish word. ) We will absolutely have to do that VA Beach marathon again someday. And that very painful 50K, too.
September 7, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Keith
It’s a good thing I’m fully armoured against the behaviour of people who rail against the proper way of spelling words. While I appreciate their candour in proclaiming their opinion with clamour and colour, none the less it’s dollars to doughnuts they don’t endeavour to find favour with their favourite blogging commentator. The flavour of their words leads me to believe they harbour the will to dishonour the fine heritage of the English language in all its majesty. This peculiar humour leads them to labour in vain, thinking that extra u is a mould growing in the parlour of common usage. I would have them plough under their rancour with rigour, and start a rumour that Canadian English will be the saviour of increased understanding. This tumour of spelling differences will be eradicated through the valour of everybody involved, fighting against the vapour of poor understanding, and replacing it with the vigour of clean language.
I believe that’s a kertwang back atcha!
England and America are two countries divided by a common language. (George Bernard Shaw, just in case you’re thinking I’m that witty on short notice.) Canadians have taken the best of both those cultures, and being the smartest of the 3 (if, admittedly, the least interesting of them) have tried to show you, and the rest of the world, how things ought to be done. You’re welcome.
September 7, 2009 at 6:47 pm
Keith
I was so taken up with the effort to use all the ‘ou’ words, in alphabetical order at that I forgot to comment on the reappearance of the hat. My apologies. My congratulations. If I were ever so foolish as to run 50 K I’d damn well want to wear the hat for it.
Funny how the stuff in our homes disappears, and reappears. I have a theory, of course. It’s the aliens. They are watching us. Occasionally they play with our minds by moving stuff, or hiding it. Or they have a ‘forget-ray’ where they remove our memory of putting stuff in a particular place.
September 8, 2009 at 6:02 pm
deloosemoose
Keith: that was AWESOME!! Do you have some special, secret Canadian tome full of
misspelled“ou” words? I’ll find out if you do, because Mr. Moose and I have a Canadian friend (See? We’re not racists. Some of our best friends are Canadians.) and we’ll beat it out of him.And I believe that your alien theory is quite sound.
September 8, 2009 at 6:28 pm
Keith
No, I do not have some secret tome of ou words. I came up with that off the top of my head. Within a couple of hours, I’ll have you know.
September 8, 2009 at 6:46 pm
kimcheegirl
Hours, Keith? Turn in your citizenship! Bad Canadian. Shoulda taken you ten minutes or less!
September 8, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Missy
1000 miles! You deserve to wear the 100K hat, dang, nice work out ‘der. Colour, favourite…sheeeit, Keith stole them all the the bastard. That’s all the Canadian words I know, that and Molson!
September 8, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Keith
And no, it isn’t Molsoun. But there are much better Canadian beers to drink.
September 8, 2009 at 6:48 pm
kimcheegirl
Too heavy for us americans, buddy, we need as much in a bottle. You need it to stay warm. It’s roasty toasty here.
September 8, 2009 at 6:51 pm
kimcheegirl
Ouch. Should learn to proofread. trying to say “we don’t need as much alcohol in a bottle…” Speaking of which.. I set mine down here somewhere…
September 8, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Carolina John
wow, 1000 miles in 250 days is impressive. and your math skills are not. that’s what happens when you hang with glaven for too long, intelligence levels drop. at least he’s eloquent with the typewriter. and capitalizes the first letter of all of his sentences. i’m too lazy for that shit.
September 8, 2009 at 6:33 pm
deloosemoose
Carolina John: OMG! Did you just call Glaven’s new iMac a “typewriter”? Those are fighting words right there.
September 9, 2009 at 9:11 pm
carpeviam
Did G really leave 3 comments, of quite lengthy nature, for this post? He must be very obsessed with you. Can you get a restraining order on blogs? How does that even work? You can’t come within 20 blogs of DLM’s blog, or else!
I’m defending Keith. I like adding “ou” and switching “er” for “re.” Cuz it’s sexy. People find you mysterious when it happens. That’s what I want. I want to be fucking mysterious.
September 13, 2009 at 9:42 am
deloosemoose
Carpeviam: Glaven IS obsessed with me. Word is that he wants to have a threesome with him, me and Morissey. But that’s not how I roll.
September 12, 2009 at 11:42 am
j
4 miles a day AVERAGE is an outstanding amount. That is unbelieveable. WOW.
So where was the hat, because if you can find that then maybe I can find my missing camera?
September 13, 2009 at 9:43 am
deloosemoose
J: Thanks!! But if I find your camera I’m just gonna sell it with all the scissors that I’ve pilfered over the years.
September 8, 2009 at 6:31 pm
deloosemoose
Keith: Well done!