Today J., niece-o’-J. and I all went to the big city to run Madison’s Monarch Race. This is a 5K in memory of a local girl who passed away from leukemia 13 years ago. The run raises money for an area children’s hospital and for pediatric cancer research. There were butterfly decorations everywhere, and in one field there were hundreds of paper butterflies, each recorded with the name of a child who had died of cancer. So that’s cheery, huh?
Somehow, though, it was. Yes, the now expired Madison’s picture was everywhere, staring at us with her big cancerous eyes, but SO many happy people gathered in her memory, with the common goal of eliminating a terrible disease. I’m sure her parents can take some solace in the fact that she is remembered, and that some good will come from her passing. I was just there for the shirt.
Unfortunately, said shirt has been defiled by a big ass MallWart logo right on the back. Have I ever mention how much I hate, hate, double hate, LOATHE MallWart? They are one scummy corporation, people, and if Madison’s parents had worked there MallWart would probably have denied them health coverage just when Madison needed it most. Then they’d probably ship her off to China and force her to make American flags.
Despite the heinously offensive shirt, this was a GREAT race. I did not PR, but I came close. I was nineteen seconds slower than at the 5K that I did on Memorial Day. I attribute this 19 second loss to the fact that I did not have my lucky hat. This is a hat that M. and I got at the one and only ultra we ran a couple years back. That hat has serious mojo, people, and if it doesn’t turn up soon I’m going to be grieving nearly as much as…Never mind. I was going to write “Madison’s parents“, but that would be callous and insensitive. What kind of monster would even THINK to compare the loss of one’s beloved child to the loss of a hat? But I guess it’s already out there now, and you’re not likely to think any worse of me, so what the fuck, huh? I’ll grieve nearly as much as Madison’s parents. There – I’ve said it. I’m going to hell for sure. But I’ll likely meet the CEO of MallWart while there, so that might be interesting.
Race stats:
22:42
7:16 pace
3/50 age group
17/403 females
115/777 overall
6 comments
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June 6, 2009 at 6:47 pm
carpeviam
Very nice race! Great time and placement!
I hate MallWart, too! I don’t care if they “roll back prices.” I avoid it at all costs.
June 7, 2009 at 12:56 pm
deloosemoose
Carpeviam: Thanks!
Yeah, I’m a known cheap ass but I just can’t shop there. I swear that all their merchandise is tainted with the piteous suffering of enslaved Chinese laborers. Which I could live with, I guess, but all their stuff is just tacky anyhow. And THAT is just intolerable.
June 7, 2009 at 9:04 am
kimcheegirl
Went out today getting ready for the Boilermaker. Almost stepped on a
H U G E snapping turtle nesting in the middle of the darn trail! So I hopped over it before thinking that it probably was a dumb idea, and it would take off the one toe I needed to run while it defended its nest.
I also understand your dog issues a bit better now. I was chased by A PAIR of giant, black, growling-and-frothing-at-the-mouth dogs who had decided that running meat is more fun any steak that their keepers could throw to them. I can only assume that my stopping in my tracks confused the guys because they stopped the second I did. At least the owner came out apologizing profusely (but still didn’t share any steak with a starving runner) and dragging her monsters indoors.
Jerks. How about some turtle stew instead? I know just the spot…
June 7, 2009 at 12:57 pm
deloosemoose
Kimcheegirl: Turtles AND snarling black dogs?! Daaaamn. I’d have to take to my bed with a bottle of Red Cat.
Be careful, you.
June 7, 2009 at 11:01 am
gqh
Well, if you DO meet Sammy Teh MallWart Bajillionare in Hell, be sure to kick him in his n*ts@ck, ‘kay? For me?
Because I have FORBIDDEN Teh ‘Bride to shop there, but sometimes she defies me and tries to hide it from me but The Boy always narcs her out. And she always has some bogus excuse why this particular thing had to be MallWart merchandise.
But there are no consequences to her for these defiances of my fiat, is what I’m trying to say, Moose. I’m a paper tiger – no actual enforceable power. So Teh ‘Bride walks around like she’s got some sorta say in our life instead of being a good, submissive wife, with no will of her own.
You know, the way Jebus wants you skirts to be.
Congrats on the speedy 5k and AG placing. What are you, as a submissive wife, gonna do for Mr. Moose to celebrate?
(You know what he wants, Moose.)
June 7, 2009 at 1:06 pm
deloosemoose
Glaven: Teh ‘Bride secretly shops at MallWart?! And corrupts Teh Ian?! You better get that under control. What’s the point of hauling a hairy ol’ n*ts@ck around all day if it’s not even gonna give you some sort of power?
In celebration of my extraordinary performance yesterday, Mr. Moose gets…um…he gets….
Maybe a MallWart gift certificate? Which I will forbid him from ever redeeming?
Well…NOT anal. Definitely not anal. It’s not even our anniversary for another two months.